Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A need

I want to run. 
I want to get up put on some light clothes, running shoes and just run. 
With no destination, and nowhere to go, 
just run for the sake of running. 
And while running, shouting. 
At the top of my lungs.
Shouting.
Until I loose my voice.
Running and Shouting.
And tears.
Tears will almost definitely flow.
Until my eyes are dry and sore from the wind.
Running and crying.
Then just running.
Until I run out of breath.
I'll stop, feel sick from exhaustion.
And then run some more.
Force my legs to move.
To carry my wieght forward.
Out of pure rebellion at how I can be out of breath.
Running, against all the signs my body is giving me to stop.
Running, long after my legs go numb.
Running, with every breath I take burning my lungs.
Running.
Running, until dizziness forces me to stop.
And I'll stop.
I'll lean on my knees.
I'll breath deeply.
I'll smile.
But only after I'd have run.
Run as far as I could.
I'd have let everything out.
Only then will I smile.

The Road

I walk along this perfectly straight road. Walking at a steady pace. I've been walking for as long as I can remember, and can not remember the begining of my journey.
The road has been smoth and straight all the way, but there where obstacles. stuff on the road I just had to push through or objects so huge and solid I had to walk around, never changeing speed.
I can look back and see the things that just passed clearly, things further back become more faded. Looking forward is like looking into a fog. The shadows of objects on the road, their hazy shape, can be seen, but with no detail.
Things infront are constantly changing depending on how I handle obstacles, or how other people do. But the things I had passed, stay the same. Never changing.
People walk beside me. Ever changing, some of them I know, some I don't. All walking at the same pace. All in a straight line, side by side. These people do not see or feel the same obstacles I do though. Or sometimes they see the obstacles but they're not important to them, they're as insubstantial as a shadow to them.
No one falls behind on this road, on this road, this time-line, if people can't cope, they just dissapear all of a sudden leaving only memories in the people they walked beside.
I see a large shape coming towards me, and although I'm sill walking at the same pace, this seems to be travelling faster towards me. Although I can't see anything except a dark shape, I know what it is. Straining my eyes and looking further infront of me, I see eight more of these large shapes at regular intervals growing each time. Final Exams. 
I know they are going to arrive upon me, and although there are ways around them, that will completely change all there is infront of me, and although it looks scary at the moment, I don't want it to change. So I will walk straight into this monster obstacle and knwoing it will be tough, I must keep going, keeping pace with all those around me because I have to. Everyone has to. And there is no rest.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

Blah!

Blah! just Blah!

I want to be able to enjoy my youth

Blah!