Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A need

I want to run. 
I want to get up put on some light clothes, running shoes and just run. 
With no destination, and nowhere to go, 
just run for the sake of running. 
And while running, shouting. 
At the top of my lungs.
Until I loose my voice.
Running and Shouting.
And tears.
Tears will almost definitely flow.
Until my eyes are dry and sore from the wind.
Running and crying.
Then just running.
Until I run out of breath.
I'll stop, feel sick from exhaustion.
And then run some more.
Force my legs to move.
To carry my wieght forward.
Out of pure rebellion at how I can be out of breath.
Running, against all the signs my body is giving me to stop.
Running, long after my legs go numb.
Running, with every breath I take burning my lungs.
Running, until dizziness forces me to stop.
And I'll stop.
I'll lean on my knees.
I'll breath deeply.
I'll smile.
But only after I'd have run.
Run as far as I could.
I'd have let everything out.
Only then will I smile.

The Road

I walk along this perfectly straight road. Walking at a steady pace. I've been walking for as long as I can remember, and can not remember the begining of my journey.
The road has been smoth and straight all the way, but there where obstacles. stuff on the road I just had to push through or objects so huge and solid I had to walk around, never changeing speed.
I can look back and see the things that just passed clearly, things further back become more faded. Looking forward is like looking into a fog. The shadows of objects on the road, their hazy shape, can be seen, but with no detail.
Things infront are constantly changing depending on how I handle obstacles, or how other people do. But the things I had passed, stay the same. Never changing.
People walk beside me. Ever changing, some of them I know, some I don't. All walking at the same pace. All in a straight line, side by side. These people do not see or feel the same obstacles I do though. Or sometimes they see the obstacles but they're not important to them, they're as insubstantial as a shadow to them.
No one falls behind on this road, on this road, this time-line, if people can't cope, they just dissapear all of a sudden leaving only memories in the people they walked beside.
I see a large shape coming towards me, and although I'm sill walking at the same pace, this seems to be travelling faster towards me. Although I can't see anything except a dark shape, I know what it is. Straining my eyes and looking further infront of me, I see eight more of these large shapes at regular intervals growing each time. Final Exams. 
I know they are going to arrive upon me, and although there are ways around them, that will completely change all there is infront of me, and although it looks scary at the moment, I don't want it to change. So I will walk straight into this monster obstacle and knwoing it will be tough, I must keep going, keeping pace with all those around me because I have to. Everyone has to. And there is no rest.

Sunday, March 29, 2009


Blah! just Blah!

I want to be able to enjoy my youth


Saturday, March 28, 2009

Faces on Screens

The week of Lenten Talks by Y4J is over...and will end fully tonight with a mass, which we will be filming as well. The Dvd's of this week should be great guys, judging by the few shots I've seen and how well the 5 of us involved in the filming got on together.

Lol yesterday I was filming and suddenly got conscious of where I was. Usually I don't bother, I go where I have to to get the shot I want, but I jas filming and suddenly realised I was just standing, practically in the middle of the altar...I felt exposed. I was about to crouch down and quietly and subtely move to the side again...and then Jonathan shouted into my ear for me to get Sam...and it all went away...

It's funny... Give someone a black tshirt, and headset and a camera, and he or she can walk around anywhere without being told off...usefull to know.
Lol and sorry to all those who lost concentration giving a testimony or listening to the talk when they suddenly saw their face on screen :)

Lol and to Zoe too...who wasn't doing either, but still :)

After the talk last  night strolled off to Mc Donald's, yes Krissie, and I don't care what you say! :P
But it was fun, after eating we ended up staying there till almost 2am chatting and laughing.

Shout out to Kai who just sent me credit...for some inexplicable reason....not complaining. ^^

I'm thinking of looking for a job in filming or something of the sort for summer, and hopefully keep going into winter too....if anyone knos of a post...let me know...thanks again to Kai....
If it's not filming it's Design....so if anyone knows a post, let me know...
If all that doesn't work, I guess I'll end up teaching again....blah....hate the job, but the pay is good so....

Tonight there's the Youth Mass at St. Julians Parish Church to finish off the lenten talks...

but before that, I have to actually get myself to start working on an assignment I have to hand in next Thursday...Prayers are appreciated...

Until next time


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Weekend begins

Well, I am very glad that the BiBlog Experiment was greeted with enthusiasm, and that most people liked it. I will most probably bug Matt to put up more once every so often. Thanks for all the comments.
Also, cheers to all the people who became followers of my blog :)

Right, first up...the y4j lenten talks are going fantastically, prosit to all the ones involved, Sam, Benji Tutzi and of course Fr. Ray.
The filming is really fun too...Enjoying working with Tine and Zoe a real lot...fun stuff all round.

Yesterday I actually bought notes, and went to the library and checked out books for an assignment, and went to all my lectures...*shock* it kinda feels good once in a while I guess.
Really need to get down to working seriously now.

Yesterday Zoe and Achie came up to Uni to visit me and Matt again...more grass stains I'm afraid...but always fun. Achie wet me...*frown*

On a much sadder note...Krissie can't come down to Malta this Easter...some exam or something and they can't change the date for her...fair enough I guess...so...Krissie...u missed one exam already this year, what will one more do? :P

I'm hungry
nothing much else going on....

Started my weekend a few hours ago.

The Matrix has you.


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The BiBlog Experiment

Disclaimer: The following blog is in conjunction with Mr Matt Urpani, who's blog may be found here. Please refer to it in order to make a complete reading of that found here-under. You are about to get confused. Less than three.

Plus, very few of the student body knows about this wondrous room of wonders. Truly it is a gem. §

We had sugar cubes, everyone has sugar cubes in their tea or coffee, I decided it would be interesting to see what they tasted like alone, Fr. Mike called me an elephant. §

We both figured this would be more important and interesting. But we will get to work....
So ... yesterday. §

Agreed about the dance,
prosit to the choreographers, I can only remember Schinas atm, but you know who they are. Bob and Achie surprised me...they can dance i tell you. Every year they (y4j) really work hard on these talks, and from last night I am sure that this year's are all going to be amazing. §

Thanks man! I must say, filming at the front of the audience was slightly
weird, I could feel people looking at my screen. Today hopefully I'll have a bit more freedom with the cable though. Oh, and sorry to Bettina for freaking her out. :)
Working under a different director is interesting, you get used to being in a different team. Thanks for the opportunity Kev. §

I can relate to that, as during all Healing services and big events like conferences, I'll usually be behind a camera. Although, I must say, that at least the camera people carry none of the responsibility the worship team does, mainly that of leading the rest of them into worship. Basically, we have the possibility of not thinking as much on technical stuff for a few seconds at a time, therefore giving us a taste of what's really going on. §

...you can tell Matt's having a bit of an 'I hate my course' moment. I'm cheering him up with Jack Johnson musics. He's now dancing on his chair.
Yeah...I am looking forward to the interesting lectures of my course, hopefully they'll help me improve the skills I have and aid me in
my mode of praise and evangelisation. Because like Matt and a whole bunch of people have music, I film, take photos and edit. §

I encourage Matt's artistic side, cause as most of you know, if he does bugger medicine and go for anything artistic, film, or design, I've got me a partner :) I mean, he's got what I lack, he can come up with better stories than me, and I can put them onto the screen, with him going "
mmm, can you do that like that instead?"
It'll be brilliant. All this after our year or so abroad
of course. §


True. True. It's interesting wondering where things are going to lead to. All I hope is that wherever I'll be in a few years time, I'll be happy there, and doing
something I enjoy doing and makes me feel satisfied. §

Advice taken...but not now...I'm still young, and I don't care what
Achie says, I have time to recover from all the junk I'm taking in now. §

The Matrix has you. §

Monday, March 23, 2009

Rolling of Cables

Yes I finally gave in to peer pressure and got myself a slightly more snazzy background. Although i did keep it simple.


Saturday went to a nice intercessiony thingy by the youths of y4j that where in some way helping in the lenten talks starting this evening. It was amazing...like Achie said I think the fact that everyone there was there because he or she wanted to be and they knew exactly what was going on and why they where there helped a lot...this week should be great, pray for everyone taking part, and invitations to everyone. Jonathan, Tine, Zoe and I are filming, with Kevin Directing...it's going to be interesting and a learning experience for me working under someone different.

Anyway, Sunday morning, bright and early had the filming of the first two programs for this years 4given. Prosett to Drew and Jesmond who spoke fantastically, I was really impressed...and a BIG BIG WOOT goes to Kirsten who got comfortable with being in front of the camera straight away and did an excellent job already.

In the evening back to the St. Julians Church to set up the camera shits for the Lenten Talk, it was fun to be working with a different group of people. I am in no way saying i don't like working with the people form MaranaTha', guys you know I love you, but to be doing something big with other people is fun and a learning experience...I have noticed one thing...people get better at setting up for big things the more they do it. Like the setting up team at community, and the youths who do the Youthful Worship we got used to organizing ourselves, know where things have to go, and where they are to begin with and we all get our hands dirty to get the job done as quickly as possible...we can set up a church in an our, and dismantle everything in half. I mean it's in us, like at the launch of the y4j new cd, we just picked up cables and started rolling. ^^We made Joe proud ^^.
The people from Y4J still need a bit of learning experience...not offending any one, just stating, and I think the fact that a lot of people who aren't helping still hang around making noise doesn't help...
...but I know they are a very God filled group of people who are determined to do His work and they are doing great things...and Ben is doing a wonderful job in leading a bunch of crazy girls and guys :P

This is longer than expected...

this morning
decided to stay home and work on some design stuff and studying, and tonight we start the Lenten talks...well they start the Lenten Talks and I start filming :)


Saturday, March 21, 2009


With the Italy vs. France rugby match going on in the background, the knowledge of a lot of things that need to be done, and the smell of lunch cooking in the oven, i sit down to blog.
Well, I haven't got much to say...

first. Spring has officially started, which means, nice days outside, and therefore more picnics hopefully, exams are now really close, and everyone is that bit more horny.
second. Matt has finally picked up his blog again.
second point one. with Matt's really cool background, i might try look for one. dont be too hopeful though, as I don't like how all the set up of a blog gets lost once you choose a new background.
third. Filming of 4given discussions start tomorrow, prayers are asked for.
fourth. cough



Friday, March 20, 2009

A Sunday after a Wednesday

Hey people...


I'm unwell, and sore all over but still managing to enjoy my days...

Yesterday in particular was rather fun i thought.

Woke up at 0430 hrs, by 0515 hrs i was at the office waiting for G was woke up late, the Jonathan, Dugi, Sarah, Ang and myself headed off to Birzebbugia for filming in front of the sunrise. Very Beautiful.
Next off to near Ghar Hasan for more filming, and a bit of exploring in the cave...fun stuff...and for the first time, we headed back home after filming everything by 7.30

next a meeting for the next youthful worship :) fun too

home for pizza accompanied by Matt and Mike and off to the picnic in Pembroke.
Rugby, possession with a frisby and throwing ourselves into a tree later...i got home and just threw my now completely ruined jeans away.

From here I'd like to say sorry to Achie for the ball to the head...
bows sorry bows again

My dad reserected my laptop :O That man is amazing...I dont think there is anything he couldn't fix once he opens it up and has a prowl around....the laptop is still dying ofcourse...but it's life has been extended, hopefully until it can be replaced.
Then it was off to Charlene's for a relaxed DVD...fun stuff....

today...thank God I had no lectures...because I woke up as sore as anything...havent had that much physical activity in ages...
I want to start spending Sundays like this...except of course...now 4given filming starts, and add that to exams coming up...i somehow doubt it...

Photos of the day can be found on facebook:

Filming Photos
Picnic Photos

there are also the photos of when Kai and Achie came to visit at Uni...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Unicaid

A forest. A forest unlike any other in this world or any other world, a mythical forest. It obeys none of the laws of physics, like dimension or time, and yet, it has a border, a place where the majestic and impossibly high trees start to shorten. The forest becomes less thick and eventually ends giving way to rolling plains surrounding the forest in every direction. Flat land covered in a carpet on short grass, and lined with rivers, rivers originating in the mountains surrounding the plains in a wide rough circle. Three rivers come from the mountains to, for want of a better word, North and North-West, and all lead into the forest, but one wide and much stronger river comes out from the South of the forest and snakes its way down and exits in between a high gap in the wall of mountains to the South-East.
As mentioned before, the forest, and indeed the world which contains it does not obey common laws of dimension. But even in this world, this forest is huge, and is even bigger when you’re inside it.
Viewing the landscape from one of the numerous high mountains, it is a quiet one. No noise reaches these heights, and yet there is visible movement.
As first sun reaches the horizon in the ‘West’ and the second, much smaller and weaker sun has just started its two day journey from the North, the sky turns a bright pink mixed with orange fading to purple overhead and a deep blue behind. The light reflects off the top of the high tress, and for a few minutes half the forest looks ablaze. And to the South, looking like insects from up here, a group of Centaurs bursts from the forest following the river on both banks on a hunting run. Flying over the low mountains closer to the plains, dragons swoop and spin, performing stunts showing off their amazing range of coloured scales, trying to impress the watching females. Other wondrous and mythical flying creatures can be seen flying low over the forests trees, although it would be impossible to identify what they where from out here.
For this is the world within all worlds. And in this impressive forest where born all the mythical and legendary creatures we find in our world’s stories. But here, they are as real as the land they walk on. How real ‘here’ is, is a question that can not be answered using rational thought.
We enter the forest.
Silhouettes of differently coloured lights against the dark background created by the forest fly in every direction. In groups, alone or in couples, leaving streaks of lights behind them and speaking to each other in their high pitched squeaky voices. Where a couple would stop and enter a trumpet flower, a coloured dim lamp is created giving the area a more magical atmosphere.
Going deeper into the forest, the trees get bigger, and so do the creatures prowling around in the dim light. Marvellous creatures like unicorns gallop through the forest, dodging round trees and jumping fallen logs and low bushes. Sphinxes rests on rocks jutting out of the leaf covered floor riddling each other in an endless battle of wit. Minotaur rampaged around with no real purpose. Gryphons walked through the forest with their life long partner, eagle heads held high, wings folded over their backs.
At a point the river widens and deepens, forming a lake, visible only from above through a small opening left by the trees which over hung the lake creating an igloo made of trees with a skylight. Fauns sit on the rocks by the bank playing their tune to the nature around them. Mermaids and mermen where seen leaping and flipping over the centre of the lake, the males with well built and sculptured torsos and long braided hair and beards, and the females with flowing un-kept, yet beautiful hair, and entrancing laughing voices.
Moving further towards the centre, the trees become massive. These towering giants are the home of wood-elves, tall, slim, agile creatures who make there homes among the branches and leaves of these magnificent creatures. Tree houses surround each tree, and each house joined to others by bridges and ropes, an entire village suspended far above the forest floor.
But the most marvellous of things is to be found at the very centre of this enchanting forest, for at the centre there is a clearing, a circular area of land void of any trees except one. At the very centre of the clearing there is a tree you will not find in any book on flora. It is as high at the giant plants ‘guarding’ the clearing in a wide circle, but its branches spread out much further. It is full of leaves of a dark green colour, almost black. Its bark is rough and impossibly difficult to cut. And although it would seem to be a likely candidate to become a home, no living creature comes near it.
In one of the lower branches of the tree, close to the trunk, exists one pure white flower bud. There always is. If the flower was to open it will be replaced within seconds by another bud. The flower does not bloom according to season, or weather. There is one way for it to open, and it serves only one purpose.
Every time a tear of pure love is shed, any were, is that world, or in ours, the flower would bloom. Its pure white, quickly turns to a royal shade of purple, then fades to black as the flower dries up and falls making way for the new bud.
But that is not the most interesting thing. From this marvellous flower found on a strange tree in a clearing in the middle of a mythical forest, is born a Unicaid, top half is a Unicorn’s, and the bottom half is a mermaid’s. This creature is rare, as one can imagine, and is made even rarer by the fact that, due to a fuck up of evolution, dies almost straight after its birth as a fish tail is useless on land, and hooves are just as useful for swimming.
Poor Unicaid.

Dedicated to my laptop, which died almost straight after finishing this piece of work.
It will greatly missed

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Old video upload

Hey people!

was browsing my old videos...
I mean three years old...
and because they are three years old...they never got a mention on a blog...
so posting this one up...
I was supposed to be studying for my Alevels at this time:

enjoyed the jumping though I must say

Monday, March 16, 2009

Achie and I talk

This is what a conversation with Achie is like:

everyone is made up of parts of everyone else
but the more itsy bitsy bits and the more overlapping, the more unique you are
all about the combo
yeah...i guess...although the combination of these bits make up...a new sum...a new different person..
unlike any other...even though they could know the same people throughout their life
and if each person is a sum, the possibilities are endless
and yet...stand in a crowded hall...and look at each person...and you'll realize that each person...is basically another you...same thoughts, same feelings.
not necessarily
sometimes i wonder if anyone thinks like i do, thinks like you do, thinks like anyone else does
well ok...not like me and you, cause we're weird, but the basic thoughts...the same

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's that time of year Video

This is the video to go with yesterday's blog.
It was a really fun day...and relaxed is an understatement.
The music is by Jack Johnson, and i think he creates the mood perfectly...
I'll leave you to it:

comments as always are welcome and...well...just comment ok?

Xmun out

Thursday, March 12, 2009

it's that time of year

Random Days.
Yes, it's that time of year.
The time of year, where one feels inclined to skive lectures, get in a car and do random fun stuff outside.
For example, the day before yesterday, Matt, Lara Ang and myslef drove off to Bighi, dropped Angie off for lectures...booo....and then...since we were there, walked into De La Salle and went all nostalgic...it would have been better if there where peiople there, but it was randomly fun...
nothing compared to yesterday.
Achie visited University and while waiting for Zoe ended up on a piece of grassy area...I was dressed for it...jeans and hoodie...typical, Matt however was in his doctory shirt and trousers...
it would not have been a problem, but we wrestled, and roled, and wrestled some more...took photos...they'll be uploaded soon pewomise...and some of them i'm afraid give the wrong message, like i told Krissie...if looks like the opening scene of a gay movie...but we were wrestling...Lara and Achie are our witnesses...
got proof of that as well...will show you too...
as soon as my laptop decides to switch on for more than 5 minutes at a time....
but we rolled and wrestled and rolled and wrestled and rolled...
then went to chaplaincy for tea and coffee...
and of course we learnt that we do not have to leave campus for random fun...

...downside ofcourse is that at this time of year we should all be closing ourselves inside and studying...seeing how exams are round the corner...
the dichotomy of a students life.
none the less...I expect more random days to come round.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

old comedy

Hey people...
My dad was browsing old comedians on Youtube this evening...
and i actually liked this one
check it out

a proper blog should follow soon...

Sunday, March 08, 2009

a silver tear

Ignored, left alone,
once a month,
in the darkness of night,
with no one to comfort me,
i cry a single silver tear,
what is the point?
I have practically given up...
bullied by my peers
they are all more usefull,
all have purpose,
all get comfort
but not me
i have given up.
but then i think...
one day..
things will change.

to a very select few....this is hilarious..you know who you are....the rest...dont wry about me...im not going emo

Friday, March 06, 2009

4given 2009 begins

Today we started the first filming of the first skit for 4given 2009,
thats all i have to report...
i got caught in the hail, and horizontal rain,
not in the best of moods lately
socially deviant dress code tonight...might have photos later.

Monday, March 02, 2009


A deck of cards. 52 cards. or rather 54. The jokers are important cards in a deck.
So 53 options. which one am I?
what? what do I mean which one am I?
Take cards to be people, characters...personality types:
First the suits. Hearts, Spades, Diamonds or Clubs.
The Hearts derived from the image or a goblet...imagery of clergy...loving. loving to extremes...no not a heart.
Diamonds...from coins...wealth, obviously not.
Clubs...big stick to hit people with...mindlessly violent. No.
The Spades...derived from 'spade' in Italian meaning sword...military...thought out attack...planning....yes, a card of spades.
The number...
the ace, the card with two personalities, the undecided card, the card that chooses the value it needs at that point in time, smallest or highest value in a deck...so adaptable...very useful...but not me.
the face cards...Jack, Queen or King...
well...the queen is out of the question...
the the other two..well...never really been a front man...shown...well known...the opposite of subtle...the cards with the publicity.
the ten...X in Roman Numerals...well well well, now there's a coincidence...or is it?
the ten card...not as famous as the face cards..no...not half as famous and well recognized, but here's the interesting thing...of equal value in most games...not in poker of course, where its all about who you're with or who you are not what you can do....but we can't win all games...

not a good looking card, rather crammed...too much things to fit one card it seems... definitely less aesthetically pleasing than any of the cards between 2 and 6, and the 8, but at least it has symmetry so better than the 7 and 9...
yes i think a ten...
an X card...
the X or spades...

"Deal me!"