Saturday, March 03, 2007


Everyone has their own sensitive point, a button releasing the worse side of someone. Lately I've been experiencing this quite a bit, and usually, without knowing, I would poke at this button.
I say without knowing because I would not know about it until after I press it, which would be a tad too late. Ok, everyone should try and be sensitive all the time, and be careful about what one says, but how in the world is anyone supposed to know that one thing hits your nerves more than anything else does.
Now, I'm, i'll admit, a rough kind of person, something to do with going to a hard-core all guys school i concluded, and being rough, i sometimes say things that might seem harsh. But I am telling you all now, I do not intende to offend. The case would usually be that I would take it for granted that everyone knows I would not be serious.
Often, the thing which effects people is something small and unimportant to others. I am not going to go into the why of these things, because there could be hundreds of reasons for them. What I'm going to talk about is that most people find them petty issues.
For example, up until two years ago, I could not stand anyone speaking about the fact that i wear glasses. I just couldn't take it. I know that thousands of people wear glasses, so taking offence at it was stupid, I knew this then, and yet i lost control every time. You see, some people would say "so what if you wear glasses?" but to me it was a big issue. Most probably because of the amount of teasing i got because of them early in my life.
Now, the important thing is that i got over this issue.
My point is, that since most people would look at the thing that pisses you off as something petty and stupid, we should realise that we should not take it against the person who said it immediately on the first time. As most probably he, or she, would not even know that it effects you badly.
If you know the person knows, I still feel that a little self control and maturity are needed. Please note, I am speaking about myself aswell, I do have little, (fine fine quite big-ish) moments of anger at something stupid. But more self control must be practised. I do not find it makes sense that a friendship is broken, or at least damaged, because of a word that offended you, especialy if it was not intentional.

On that note, I have rediscovered the value of a close friend. I mean, i always knew how important friends were, but lately I've been thinking and came to the conclusion, that a close friend, should be taken care of, and one must do anything within his capabilities to prevent pain being caused. This may be easy without loosing much yourself, or it may be a great sacrifice. I am telling you, it will always be worth it. The friend will remember, and you will have that person close to you for life. A close freind, especially in moments of turbulance, is one of the most precious things one could ask for. So be careful and handle them carefully and with respect people.

One last thing, somehow when you become very close to someone, especially if its over a long period of time, and then for some reason fall apart, that person will always have a special place in your heart...(sounds cheesy, i know) I can tell you that a great pain happens when you see this person and know that things will never be back the same way they where before. There will always be a little awkwardness, or light tension, no matter how hard you both try to act natural. So for this reason i ask you to be very careful when it comes to people close to you that you love, do not take anyone for granted. It is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way, and i hope to spare you the pains...



Chris said...

Wow... Where to start?

Well, firstly: Yes. That school did make us rough and tough. It might have been a good thing (we can more or less handle most of the shit people throw at us), but it could also be a bad thing (we tend to go a little overboard sometimes).

As to the type of situation you described. It happens. Ideally when you're close to someone you'd know what ticks them off before you tick them off, but that's not always possible. Once it happens, both sides need to act. The offended side needs to realise that no harm was meant, and the offending side must realise and sympathise with the offended side. But hopefully the friendship (despite being a little damaged) will be repaired.

But friendships can be prepared, and if you overcome stuff together, then you will be stronger for it. And that is a lesson I have leart :D

Matt said...

OK... so much stuff, i have a lot to say and idont really know how to formulate it so i'll make list:

1. Yeah i know what you mean
2. Chin up dude, it all passes eventually

Bah, and i grew up in a rough church school too, but all i did was get the crap beaten out of me on a regular basis, mostly by my best friends.... not much has changed has it?

Have your comment! have at thee!!

Beastiality? Jolly Good! <-- Chris