Friday, December 28, 2007

*sigh*

Hey
If you're reading this for a happy post, you are in the wrong place.

I'm in a not very good mood this morning. Fist of all, didn't get much sleep last night, kept waking up and so on and so forth, but besides that...
I have this feeling of wanting to get away from everything, everyone that knows me, everyplace I know, every obligation I have, and just go, just go start something new, something I'll enjoy doing for the rest of my life, somewhere where no one knows me, my past, my character and starts giving first impressions again.
I just feel like I'm missing out.
I can't explain it properly in words in a complex feeling.
I mean, Here I am, studying like crazy trying to fit an A level subject into 5 months, so then I can study Art and Design in Malta so hopefully after that, I would have gathered enough cash to go study my real passion abroad, cause they don't teach it anywhere on this bloody island. And it all seems so far away, I mean I rather be working like crazy this year, and leaving next year. Dont get me wrong, I'm gonna miss al...most of you very much, but I just want to go, study, come back, and be sure of how the rest of my life is going to turn out...To be able to plan, jobs, country I'm going to live, family.
bugger
It's not easy, I'm leaping into darkness...I dropped out of Uni and I'm going for something so unsecure as this, it's not like me, never done something like this before, and I'm not used to it.
I'm breaking down.

6 comments:

Matt said...

Hey! hey hey hey HEEEYY!! HEY! YY!!
Bah, i get what you mean, i think you know that hehe. The unsecurity can be scary, i've thought about what you're doing a lot (you know this) and yeah it would be scary. But at the same time, it can be very exciting. Sim, taking a risk and going out to do what you want to do, without knowing what's going to happen, can either work out brilliantly, or not at all. But the experience of it depends on your approach to it... you only live once... it's not about how much time you have, but what you do with the time that's given to you. So don't settle for something cause it's secure, live your life, and let God guide you.

Gbu dudu

Anonymous said...

hey sim
well i agree with matt and i mean like ur going on an adventure soon sim ur just preparing for it now...dont put urself down qalbi...if this is wat u want then go for it and dont look bk..this is d new u..like u sed u would have never done anythign like this...so take this step forward and work hard so that one day u can finally say, "it was all worth it! "
gbu and tc
^KaI^

Sarah said...

Hey sim! Me again ... You are gonna be a great animator someday ull c ;) every second you do working now will be worth it! Dw Wer here right beside you! Just have faith and let Him guide you all the way! Gb tc ;)

Ps cu 2nite :P

Sarah

Bernie said...

Hey sim...it takes a lot of guts and i dont know wat else.. to do wat u did! Hang in there! yes unfort. it means having to work like mad to get wat u want...stil way better than having to work hard anyway in uni for somethin yu dont like!!

Ejja kuragg...

MD said...

Trust in God Simon. And remember, even the most "secure of options" can have loads of insecurity behind them. I've taken up Medicine, which is something that I'll never regret. But, believe it or not, MY future looks extremely uncertain and bleak, despite the fact that people choose this course because "you're guaranteed a job". So, you're not alone. Many can relate to what you're feeling. And those who don't...it's a sign they haven't really thought about their futures properly. God bless you Simon.

NB The stress people go through during their 'A's doesn't help the situation, so give things time...

Dez said...

aw guzi...uwejja take a look at me!!!!... im not even guaranteeing anyone im staying on dis island for the next six months wdh...relax..do ur utmost, & enjoy it 2d max wotever ur doin...

lol sim uwajma were in d same boat bassusu stop complainin! ;)

Gbu dudu
DEZ